Thursday, 10 March 2016

Dear Gladys - No. 2

Dear Gladys

A monthly advice column


Dear Gladys,
                    Our little boy of eight recently received a low mark in his history exam when he wrote that Lord Nelson fell at Wadebridge. When we asked him why he had written that instead of The Battle of Trafalgar, he told us that he had mixed up his history with a recent visit to the Mid Hants Railway, where he saw the locomotives ‘Lord Nelson’ and ‘Wadebridge’ running. We all had a laugh at his being so muddled!
Doris of Alresford.

Dear Doris of Alresford,
                                                Muddled and unlucky! Who would have thought that two such unreliable locomotives would manage to struggle out of Ropley Yard long enough to provide a service?

Dear Gladys,
                   I am a natural born pain in the neck. Could you advise me on the best way to irritate the platform staff, please?
Dumbo of No Fixed Abode.

Dear Dumbo,
                             A good way to irritate the platform staff is to assemble a party of at least four ill behaved children and no less than two bulky buggies. Try to board the train before people have got off it, ignoring advice to use the guard’s van. Having held up the train for five minutes while you scream ineffectually at the children, when you finally get everybody on board, change your mind and begin to get them all off again. Drop something valuable between the platform edge and the carriage. Lose a child.

               But please make sure to do all this on the Bluebell Railway.

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